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The Thing You'll Miss The Most - JUST ANOTHER COIN TO PAY YOUR WAY WITH (PG) BY IAMSHADOW
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JUST ANOTHER COIN TO PAY YOUR WAY WITH (PG) BY IAMSHADOW
Title: just another coin to pay your way with
Author: [personal profile] iamshadow
Fandom: White Collar
Pairings: Gen
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,143
Summary: A cold case on Peter's desk reveals something about Neal's past that Peter hadn't suspected.
Content:Sex work/prostitution (discussion of), awkward conversations, revelations, trope subversion.
A/N:Written for the AU: hooker/porn/stripper square of Round One of [community profile] trope_bingo.

This is set in a vague timeframe after S02 E11 Forging Bonds, but without any real hard links to the major music box/sub/treasure plot arcs.




There's a file on his desk. It turned up in the night, like an unwanted guest. He's gone through it twice, and it still has the same ugly facts within on the third read.

“I need you to explain this to me,” Peter says, as neutrally as he can, handing it to Neal.

Neal crooks a sly smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes after glancing at the top sheet, then the one underneath. “Why, Peter,” he drawls, “I would have thought a happily married man such as yourself would have heard about the birds and the bees by now.”

“No birds, no bees. It's male prostitution with a side of theft. Tell me about Lance Bryant.”

“Since when are we Miami Vice?”

“Since you decided seven years ago that turning tricks in Atlantic City was a viable career path over art school,” Peter snaps, and he knows the moment it's halfway out of his mouth that it's the wrong thing to say.

Neal's face goes blank and hard, but Peter doesn't miss the flash of anger just before the walls slam down.

“I didn't- I just- I need to know,” Peter says, trying to soften what he'd said, unwilling to apologise, unable to let go of his need to have all the answers. It's hard to not be angry at Neal, to resist the urge to shake him by the scruff of his neck for something he did when he was barely old enough to drink.

The smile that follows on the heels of the blankness is patently false and mildly lecherous. “You want the dirt, do you?” Neal asks. His body language changes, almost imperceptibly, but Peter feels his face heat as Neal slowly looks him up and down, biting his lip. There's a dark hint of something in Neal's eyes that Peter wouldn't have believed it was possible to fake, until now. If he didn't know better, he'd think Neal was about to proposition him.

Then it all falls away, and Neal's just sitting there, watching Peter, no doubt cataloguing all the tells Peter's got on display. Peter feels conflicted and shaky and somehow hurt, and he doesn't have the focus or the distance to dig into why, not when Neal's just patiently waiting for Peter to catch up and compose himself.

“It's all a con, Peter,” Neal says eventually. “You show people what they want, tell people what they want to hear. It's a means to an end. It's easy.”

The score from Lance Bryant's crime spree had been small-time, or, at least, from what wound up in the file, it appeared to have been. Most of the thefts committed by Neal-as-Bryant had probably been unreported. One minor Impressionist painting that surfaced again six months later in Brussels. A few high-end timepieces. A nineteenth century sapphire pendant. The bulk of the take was mainly money, credit cards, and a small cache of poker chips that added up to about two grand. Barely enough to keep a con with Neal's tastes in good quality burgundy for a couple of months.

“It's your body, Neal,” Peter says, and it sounds slightly choked to his own ears.

“It's just currency, Peter,” Neal says, and it's the most cynical Peter's ever heard him. It's unyielding and matter-of-fact, almost callous.

Peter thinks about his early, fumbling experimentations with sex, some disastrous, some ill-advised, some joyous. He thinks about El, about how they fit together.

He thinks about walking into the bar of an upscale hotel, or onto the floor of a casino, and faking his way into the bed of a married oil magnate who's spending ten grand on a single hand of poker, all with the express purpose of stealing his Rolex, his cufflinks and his cash while he's dozing through the afterglow.

“No,” Peter says, shaking his head. “I can't- I don't believe that.”

Neal's small smile is genuine, but slightly indulgent, almost patronising. “You're a romantic,” he says, meaning, you're a child, who still believes in fairy tales.

“What about Kate?” he asks.

Neal's smile disappears, but his tone is carefully light. “Kate wasn't the kind of girl meant to slave away, bussing tables. Life was hard, then,” Neal says. After Adler. After Peter started chasing Neal. “That meant certain sacrifices.”

“Did she... as well?”

“No.” Neal's answer is firm and immediate.

“Then how could she...” Peter can't even bring himself to say it, to ask. Neal answers anyway.

“I think she liked the fantasy,” Neal says, and Peter honestly doesn't know what to do with that, doesn't know how to process the concept of a girl sitting back and letting her boyfriend go out and sell himself just to keep her in the style she'd become accustomed to, let alone a girl who let him go out and sell himself because it titillated her.

“Did you ever tell her it was a lie?” Peter asks, eventually.

“No,” Neal says, and his eyes are clear, his body language slightly folded in, like he's trying to be smaller. For once, Peter doesn't think it's a conscious thing.

Peter nods slightly, closing the file gently, putting it to the side. “Take an early lunch,” he says.

Neal looks a bit confused. Peter clarifies.

“Go buy that ridiculous sushi you like. Sit in the park. Drink a latte. Bring me back an espresso and one of those sugar doughnuts from the café down the street. You know the one.” He tugs a bill from his wallet and hands it over.

Neal's still looking as though he's waiting for the other shoe to drop. “We're good?” he asks, and Peter wishes he didn't sound just a little bit guarded, like he's bracing for a blow.

“You were honest with me when I asked you. We're good.”

Neal looks serious and introspective when he walks out through the bullpen, as though he's struggling to assimilate that.

Peter breathes deep and slow, then goes about filling out the paperwork required for yet another discovered piece of the 'stupid things Neal has done' puzzle. The haul was minor and the painting recovered. They've certainly given Neal amnesty for far more significant past offences during his time with White Collar. Hughes probably won't do more than glance over it before signing.

Neal returns in a bit over an hour, smelling slightly of soy sauce and wasabi. He's back to his usual dazzling self, but Peter's coffee is just the way he likes it, and there's not one but two sugar doughnuts in the warm, slightly greasy bag. It doesn't make the memory of the morning any less uncomfortable, but it's a subtle sign that Neal's forgiven him. Peter's licking sugar from his fingertips when Neal catches his eye across the bullpen, and the cheeky grin he shoots Peter's way helps to make the residual guilt Peter still feels melt away.

*

Footnote:
I have a low tolerance for a lot of the portrayals of sex work out there in fan fiction and the media. It's incredibly polarised - either it's kinky fun and sexy, or it's a short step away from drugs and violence and death. Rather than pander to either cliché, I decided to just have sex work be something from a character's past that comes up for some reason. So this is a back-story snippet that's an AU of canon, but not an unbelievable one that's terribly far away from what we see in the show.

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Comments
embroiderama From: embroiderama Date: January 17th, 2013 05:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
I like this a lot! It really does feel realistic for canon, and I like how, while it wasn't something that destroyed Neal, it did affect him, and I love that Peter so casually gave him some space to deal with it.
shadowfiction From: shadowfiction Date: January 18th, 2013 01:13 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm really glad that came across, that this isn't something that deeply traumatised Neal, but that it is something he lives with and carries with him.

And yeah, Peter's handling of Neal is a dance between giving him hard boundaries and giving him room to move. I don't envy Peter the task of deciding whether the stick or the carrot will work best in a given situation.
morganslady From: morganslady Date: January 17th, 2013 10:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
I don't know if I see Neal as a prostitute but as a male escort yes. I think his being honest with Peter was very good.
shadowfiction From: shadowfiction Date: January 18th, 2013 01:19 am (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, I'd say Neal would have been more on the escort side of things.

On the one hand, he's sort of trying to shock Peter, but on the other, he is being brutally honest just because Peter asked for honesty.
hurinhouse From: hurinhouse Date: January 18th, 2013 12:55 am (UTC) (Link)
honestly, though we'd never hear about it on the show, if neal was real it wouldn't surprise me if this really did happen, though he'd have to have been in complete control because i don't seen him ever allowing it if he was backed into a corner. he learned how to compartmentalize at such an early age that almost anything could be true of him. well written, realistic with genuine voices.

Edited at 2013-01-18 12:56 am (UTC)
shadowfiction From: shadowfiction Date: January 18th, 2013 01:25 am (UTC) (Link)
I did try and make it plausible. And yes, I think Neal would have been as careful as he could with his choice of marks and locations to maintain control.

The compartmentalisation thing was exactly the way I was describing it last night, when discussing this fic with my partner! Anyone who has the ability to create personas and aliases and live as those created people for protracted lengths of time has a refined ability to separate his true self from what he's doing and experiencing.

Thank you, I'm really glad it worked for you.
pjna3 From: pjna3 Date: January 18th, 2013 06:26 am (UTC) (Link)
This is excellent. As hurinhouse said, we won't see this sort of thing in canon because it's a bit too dark for the "blue skies" theme, but it is completely believable.

Neal is a romantic, but obviously he's willing to go to great lengths for his cons. I've always believed that he'd be willing to sleep with a mark if that's what it took, Kate or no Kate.

I think your comments on compartmentalizing are also spot on. A person with his difficult childhood, would have gained that ability, and his ease in slipping in and out of different aliases really shows it. It's not Kate's boyfriend Neal sleeping with Mrs. Wealthy to steal her painting, it's George Devore.
shadowfiction From: shadowfiction Date: January 18th, 2013 07:06 am (UTC) (Link)
Totally, thank you, what you said. I mean, it's not explicitly stated, but it's heavily implied that Neal sleeps with Maria Fiametta in By The Book, and that's while knowing she's someone that has killed without conscience for profit. It's also suggested he sleeps with Alex when he meets her at the pool in Out of the Box. Both of those sexual encounters took place while he's searching for Kate, the supposed love of his life that he was willing to get four more years prison time for. Alex could be explained away as fun times between friends for old times' sake, but Maria, definitely not. That's business, that's the con. There is no way that that encounter had anything to do with sentiment.

Because of his discussion with Keller in Checkmate, we know for a fact that he's used sex as part of an actual con, thanks to the 'naked with a tray over your junk' comment. I'd say that dates from Neal's second association with Keller, when they were running bigger cons together. Not Monaco, when they were 'kids', but later, when it was 'all about Kate' (according to Mozzie). There are a lot of lines in Bottlenecked that make me think that Kate went between Neal and Keller at least once. One could argue for intimacy between Neal and Keller, too; there's a real ex-lover tone to their conversation in the truck in Checkmate.
shadowfiction From: shadowfiction Date: January 22nd, 2013 12:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ugh, for By The Book, read Book of Hours. The problem when a show has two eps with the word 'book' in the title in two seasons.
frith_in_thorns From: frith_in_thorns Date: January 20th, 2013 02:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
I really liked this, and I also found your comments above really interesting too. I can definitely see this being part of Neal's backstory, something that is mostly compartmentalised away. I do think that he is excellent at fully slipping into other personas and managing to leave most of their baggage behind when he comes back, so to speak, but things he's done will still be carried with him and I really liked Peter quietly giving him space to process.
shadowfiction From: shadowfiction Date: January 21st, 2013 03:21 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! I always have way too much to say about my own fic; I don't know if I annoy people with extraneous information sometimes. This time around I actually got to defend my story, which was something that hasn't happened to me for years. I hate conflict, and generally get stressed out my any form of it, but someone on AO3 questioned the entire premise of my story and the characterisation, and I was able to just calmly cite my sources. I actually enjoyed it.

Peter giving Neal the space to process was actually one of the things I liked best about the finished fic. It's the metaphorical carrot in the situation, the show of trust. Neal could have done anything with his early lunch, gone anywhere within his radius, but I liked showing that he did precisely what Peter told him to do, not just because Peter told him to do it, but because once he got outside of the building, he realised that what Peter told him to do was exactly what he needed to reset his walls and refocus on the job.
cimmerdeux From: cimmerdeux Date: January 30th, 2013 06:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
Interesting take on what I like to call Ruthless Neal: a real criminal. Sure, I could see him doing this and I could see Kate getting off on it too, crime is dirty business filled with unpleasant people so it's interesting when we see a glimpse of Neal the Criminal. He wasn't a helpless little fish in the big pond, he swam with the sharks and survived, that takes a certain ruthless calculation. What I really liked is the way Peter cut right to the core of the Kate character. Neal loved Kate, of course he would never let her do something like prostitute herself for him and their lifestyle but he cant seem to see the flip side; that if she loved him she'd wouldn't want him doing it either. But alas, Neal just has this huge blind spot when it comes to Kate. Thanks.
shadowfiction From: shadowfiction Date: February 2nd, 2013 02:14 am (UTC) (Link)
Neal can be ruthless, certainly. It's got to take a great deal of emotional remove to look in someone's face and smile with warmth while at the same time, you're robbing them or conning them.

And yeah, my feelings on Kate are quite ambiguous. I certainly don't see her as the pure ideal that Neal does; I think her soul is pretty heavily shaded with grey. The whole first season, she really doesn't make things easy for Neal, even though she could so easily have slipped him a message in code, or told him about the box a lot sooner. She's playing a long con of her own, that ended up backfiring on her spectacularly, leaving Neal to deal with the guilt and Peter to try and pick up the pieces. I certainly don't think that Kate's feelings for Neal were the same as his for her, and I think there's a lot implied about how close Kate was to Adler, and how much of his pet she was before Neal even entered the picture. I don't think their relationship was sexual, but I think there was a kind of mentorship going on, and that there's a reason why he passed Neal off to Kate, why she was so quick to set Neal a 'challenge' to get closer to Adler. It's a team play, Adler-and-Kate against Neal, and I can't really see it any other way on the rewatch, particularly with Adler's 'you and Kate look good together' speech. He's keeping Neal precisely where he wants him, with Kate to keep him in check and distract him from the con. I think Peter had a better measure of Kate than Neal ever did, or ever would have, even if they had escaped and survived.
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